There comes a point in life when you realize
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore,
and Who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past.
There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
I have spent a considerable amount of time the last month thinking about friendships: why they work, why they don't, why some friendships don't last, and some do. Why, for the the most part, most of my friends are family. Why I allowed so many friends from my home state to drift into my past.
Some of these questions are easy to answer. My family (via Lion) are my friends because there is little we don't share with the group, little they don't know about what is going on at Giggle's Zoo and me personally. Maybe we miss things, but the family in general is very close-knit, with everyone in everyone else "business". This concept may bother many people, but it works for the various enclosures of Giggle's Zoo. Since everyone is usually kept abreast of family events via the Giggle Clan Grape Vine, it's not awkward when we get together (and the get-togethers are frequent and always a blast!)-- granted secrets are HARD to keep in such a family, but that only makes it that much more lovely. And I *know* that I can go to any member of the family for advice or help, a shoulder to cry on, or a helping hand. I never have to worry about leaving my children in the hands of strangers, when there is an emergency (or I just need or want a day - or a few hours - to myself or out with my hubby) there's almost ALWAYS someone willing and able to take one or two - or all 5! - kids off my hands (usually this someone is Aunt Penguin, but several other family members have stepped in during emergent situations to care for the little ones). I only wish MY side of the family were the same way. My mother is the only exception, as she and I talk about everything several times a week :) Unfortunately, the rest of my family is spread out all over the country and only keeps in touch through Facebook. I miss my family, and wish we could be closer, but it is what it is :)
As for why so many "friendships" have drifted into the past, well... some are easily explained as one or two have done or said something in the past that made it impossible to maintain a friendships with them. One once told me to abort my oldest son because that person didn't think Lion and I should be having any more kids and refused to back off. I refused to tow the line, so that "friendship" was forced into the past-tense. Most aren't that easy to explain away. I joined the Army, I got married & became a Mom instead of maintaining my "freedom". I grew up. Some never did. The ones that I have kept in touch with that I knew in High School are mostly friends of my dead brother and sister. One of these even named his first son after my brother... very touching. And some are people with whom I wasn't friends in HS, but got to know better in the years after. Back in the day, we ran with different crowds, but for whatever reason have found common ground in adulthood. I'm sure if I ever moved back to my home state, these would be very good friends, but it's difficult being so far away.
To be completely honest, I am a very internal person, not very outgoing. So I find it hard to get to know people without other factors playing in... my best friends now are people I have met through Lion. His best friend, Hedgehog... Hedgehog's wife Wombat... Lion's buddy from childhood's wife Seahorse... and Lion's friends from work Dolphin and her hubby Manatee... that's about it... except for family :) family are the best friends!
As I get older I find that I have less tolerance for trying to mold myself into what other wish me to be. I did this a lot in my younger years, allowing others to influence me in countless ways, and changing me in ways I would not have without their influence -- this is the nature of friendships though, each and every one changes you in ways you can't foresee. So the title of this post finally comes into play:
"Be who you are and say what you feel,
for those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr Seuss-
Over the last 10 years, I have found that I can be ME, not who "they" want me to be, and whomever sticks with me because - or in spite - of it are the people I REALLY want in my life. Everyone else can fade away into, or stay in, the past. I am okay with this, as I know that the ones that really matter will always be with me. I love you guys!! Thanks you for tolerating me so well!!!
Okay, now I'm wondering if it's even possible for me to post anything SHORT!
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